pain

Pain Pastiche

Snow skin, soft voice,

A frame so petite,

Light steps and shy smiles,

I’m branded beautiful.

But a tug at my reverie, it snaps!

Shards of illusion scattered around,

I am just a black woman,

A thick, heavy, dark, Negro Woman.

So you hate me and beat me,

Starve and enslave me,

But take my loathed body,

Watch me numb my soul, and give in completely.

Purple bruises blend perfectly,

I am blasé to all pain,

My dreams smother in despair,

And wash away in tears which dry…

But I write about waterfalls,

Paint bright pink flamingos,

All in my mind’s canvas,

‘Cause black women with ink and paint,

Are only witches to be shamed and cursed.

And finally I die,

My body laid next to the spirit long buried,

From which I rise another time,

Ready to be tortured, ready to be told.

So here I am again, prettier this time,

With small feet and rosy cheeks,

I thank God-

Now I shall not be despised.

Well-

I am now a Japanese Wife,

Victim of a forced marriage,

A potential actress too-

But you don’t need to know that.

But you should remind me of my femininity every time,

Snatch away the sake and the smoke,

And yes, the life too-

Berate my apparition,

Every time you see her singing to trees,

Crushing dried leaves under her feet,

Plucking flowers on a solitary night.

[This poetry is an original creation, inspired from two masterpieces- “And The Soul Shall Dance” by Wakako Yamauchi and “In Search of My Mother’s Gardens” by Alice Walker. The theme of universality of women’s oppression has been recognised and is the essence of this poetry.]

Just Another Infatuation?

Been broken, time and again,

Ceased to be sceptical still,

Touched my heart, innocent joy,

Every time you spoke, with words so real.

Cold winds healed me,

On our uphill drives,

But failed to pluck, off your heart,

A thousand, treacherous, poisoned knives.

My vigorous blushes, unconscious smiles,

Hopelessly wondered if you’d ever know,

I stayed up late to play your songs,

Secret rehearsals of how I’d say hello.

Loved you little more, each day I,

Through all my fears, an eager try,

Careful voices though, chanted deep down,

Wasn’t I falling for another illusion?

I knew it all, I knew the end,

Cause I’d been there many times before,

Yet I risked my heart once more,

I laughed, I cried, and failed to pretend.

every night I dreamt of us,

Whispered prayers in my heart,

For our truth in some other universe.

Detoxification from-

The ghosts within me,

Order my darkened soul,

To build a pandemonium,

To cut me off from the larger hell?

 

I am driven,

Helplessly into the unconscious,

All my faculties plucked one by one,

To adorn the walls of my pandemonium.

 

Tears of hurt flood my soul,

Darkness blind my eyes,

Blue-black bruises on my spirit,

My body blasé to all the pain.

 

I am steadily driven into the unconscious.